Panel responds to latest scandal involving last-place picker
Published: 8:55 AM, 11/05/2009
Last updated: 9:00 AM, 11/05/2009
If you keep up with this notorious group of pigskin prognosticators with any regularity, you know that this group is always involved in some sort of scandal, uprising or controversy. The producers of As The World Turns only wish they could create the sort of drama seen on these pages each and every week.
Just when it appeared things might die down, that there would be no disputed picks, no trash talking, and no conspiracy theories, another scandal arises. You've heard of Watergate in the political world. The New England Patriots introduced us to Spygate.
Say hello to Panelgate, thanks to permanent cellar-dweller "Touchdown" Tommy Millsaps trying to get ahead of the competition. Although it appears at times that the panel votes on what teams should be picked and all end up with the same teams, that's not the case at all. Each panelist prides himself on being an expert at picking these games. Well, maybe not an expert, but at least they're better than the guys on ESPN.
But the picking world was rocked this week when the ugly truth about Millsaps and his picking habits were exposed. The panel became suspicious when Millsaps put together an impressive 12-1 mark a couple of weeks ago, followed by a solid 9-4 week. Because, as we all know, anything over .500 is unusual for Millsaps. But an investigation recently revealed there was a reason behind these good weeks. Millsaps has been using other panelists' picks. Current leader Bryan "The Brain" Burchfield set up an elaborate system of hidden cameras to catch Millsaps in the act.
"I was suspicious," said Burchfield. "I knew there was no way Tommy would catch me, but I had nothing better to do. I used a few precise geometric angles to set up well-hidden cameras and we busted him." The investigation was brought to a close when Millsaps admitted his crimes to the Master of Ceremonies on Wednesday. "I got in over my head and needed to keep up somehow," said Millsaps. "Too much sponsorship money and too many endorsement deals were riding on me continuing my hot streak." Other panelists were disappointed but not surprised.
Steve "He Hate Me" Wall, who was the most frequent panelist Millsaps used to cheat off of, said he knew something was up. "I knew he had to be getting help somewhere. It makes sense that he used my picks. I mean, if you want to do well, you copy the best there is," said Wall. "It doesn't look like it helped him that much," said "Mailman" John Taylor. The Master of Ceremonies considered taking action, but decided against it.
"What were we going to do? Put him in last? I think it's enough punishment that he continues to try each and every week," said the Master.
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