Self-esteem is defined as (1) a favorable realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self respect.

Or (2) an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of oneself.

That first kind is a necessary part of a fulfilled life. We need to feel good about ourselves.

And the second can make us feel good too, but it spells trouble later.

Number one is earned and though others may try, it cannot be taken away. Each person's self-esteem belongs to only them and no one else has any say. Those who would rob another of their self-esteem fool only themselves and those who mindlessly follow.

The second is by definition never earned but can be given or induced by others. Perhaps you remember two plus two equals five, about the method supposedly popular in schools so as not to hurt a student's self-esteem by telling them they were wrong. Boy are those kids in for a let down when they arrive at real life.

But I suspect that practice was not as widespread as some believe.

And I have faith in our Monroe County teachers in two things; they are too smart to fall for such drivel and they care more for the pupils in their charge than to teach in such a foolish way.

It surely didn't happen that way 51 years ago, (I'm getting old), in Mrs. Iva Lee Gibson's seventh-grade math class. Correct answers were rewarded with an addition to grade and wrong answers resulted in a reduction of grade. There is a beauty in that; both the addition and reduction build the right kind of self-esteem by showing the pupil that grades are earned. Mrs. Gibson was gettin' us ready for life.

Former college football coach Lou Holtz once said, "You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself be."

Gee, thanks, Lou, for reminding me I just made myself a loser and as the old saying goes, "I'm feeling lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut." My self-esteem on picking football winners has vanished.

It was a simple process beginning with last week's picks for The Advocate & Democrat's football prognostication panel. The Florida versus LSU game was an enigma for me; there was no way to pick 'em both to lose.

Forced to choose, I picked Florida, even though I thought they were an overrated number one. As the game began I was sitting pretty with my picks and feeling good. And Florida won.

I got enthused and caught up in the moment and took an action I would soon regret, a terrible thing I never dreamed of, the stuff of nightmares.

For when Florida scored, I raised my hands and did the Gator chomp! Gasp!

My conscience was piqued in world record time and though my good feelings died a slow and horrible death punishment came swiftly. I lost most of my picks from that time forward and sleep was a stranger to my bed that night.

What to do? Wait, I thought, penance, gotta do penance.

So I sang "Rocky Top" 25 times, (Don't worry, I hid away so as not to torture others for my sin), and cheered "Go Vols" for most of the day. I've worn orange all week but am still scrapin' bottom.

So now you know why this column is about self-esteem - I'm trying to get mine back with a public confession.

Vol fans, will ya forgive me?

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