By Stephanie Viars

MSLCSW

 

Many of us inherently put others first.  We’ve been doing it since we were little girls practicing to be caretakers when we grew up.  Now, we juggle full-time jobs and being the family manager:  planning/preparing meals, laundry and housework, balancing finances, chauffeuring our children to extracurricular activities, helping with homework, being a mate to our spouses if we have one, and perhaps taking care of our parents.  

With rising prices of almost everything, men too are finding themselves stretched to the limit: often working two jobs, if they can find work.  Then they are faced with a  list of things that need fixing or projects unfinished.  

Maybe your situation is slightly different, but the end result is the same:  our physical and mental resources are exhausted day after day, and we never seem to manage to fully recharge our battery before we’re on duty again.   

Most of my clients hear me tell “The Airplane Story” to illustrate my belief in taking care of self.  It goes something like this.  When you board a plane, prior to take-off, the flight attendant gives a safety briefing on equipment and emergency procedures.  Included are instructions for use of the oxygen masks, which will fall automatically from the overhead compartment if the cabin of the aircraft’s pressurization system is not working properly.  If we are traveling with a child, or someone who might need assistance, we are told to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first, and then assist our travel companion.  

While this sounds absurd to caretakers, if we were to process these instructions carefully, we would find they actually do make sense. If my travel companion becomes frantic in this hypothetical situation, he or she may not be sitting very still and cooperative, and I might have difficulty assisting with their mask. If I don’t already have mine on, I risk passing out from lack of oxygen during this time of struggle.  

Who else can I count on to leave their seat (and their oxygen mask!) to assist my companion?  So you see, I must take care of myself (put on my own oxygen mask) so that I will have what I need to give to others. Taking care of myself comes in a variety of ways: getting a good night’s sleep every night, making healthy food choices, participate in some type of physical activity three to four times a week, get regular medical care, participate in church or other activities with people whose company you enjoy…the list is endless. 

Every time I see an airplane, I am reminded how vital it is to make sure I’m getting what I need so I am prepared to give to others I know and love.